Discover more from Midlife Cues
56. How Far Have We Come
Though change is inevitable, personal growth is not guaranteed.
☕️ the main thing
“We are not the same people we were 5 years ago.”
A friend dropped this gem during a recent convo. It’s one of those truisms we might see on a snazzy Instagram meme, to which we'd nod our heads in agreement.
But does it hold water?
No question, there are life events that can shake things up and leave us feeling like a whole new person. We kinda remember who we were before and after the event happened.
These kinds of event-triggered personal changes are easier to track and, if necessary, easier to explain.
But there are far more incremental changes than there are huge ones, and these are the ones that are often overlooked.
When we take a step back and look at a wider time horizon, we might be surprised by just how much we've changed.
Sadly though, those changes don’t always equal personal growth.
Some changes — real talk here — take us farther away from our better angels.
And if we’re not paying attention to those small shifts, the grooves they leave may get so deeply ingrained and become part of who we are.
We may not be the same person we were 5 years ago.
The real question is, do we like who we’ve become?
🔗 building on this
How can you improve yourself to be a better person? What is the easiest approach? And what are the most important aspects of self to work on? How To Be A Better Person
Video: 8 Uncomfortable Signs You are Becoming a Better Person | YouTube. You work on yourself, and you try to be a better person. But sometimes, it’s hard to tell if you’re actually moving in the right direction. This is a short one for those who want to have a framework or a guide for tracking progress.
Audio: Who Do You Want To Be | Hidden Brain (podcast). Psychologist Ken Sheldon studies the science of figuring out what you want. He says there are things we can do to make sure our choices align with our deepest values.
📣 hear hear
“The irony is the better one does at each stage, the harder it becomes to ask if you’re actually doing what it is you want to do.” — Shankar Vedantam
📖 a fine read
Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away
by Annie Duke
“Only a poker player could write this classic book on when — and more importantly how — to fold a bad hand in business, investing, relationships and life.” — Ryan Holiday, author of The Obstacle Is The Way
🎙 what’s playing
We’ve Come a Long Way, Baby!
This is the 200th episode of the podcast 🍾🥂
To mark this milestone, I invited my friend and frequent collaborator, Yvonne Marchese, for a conversation about change.
Change is the only thing constant in life; we all know that. But so many of the incremental changes that happen naturally are left unnoticed until we’re actually sitting down and reflecting on how far we’ve come.
Using the start of our respective podcasts as mile markers, we reflected on how much we’ve grown and what has changed in our lives and in ourselves since.
I hope that this episode inspires you to reflect on your own journey and personal growth.
💬 last word
I’ve been told that I’ve changed since my days in corporate America. Common observations are that I seem to be less uptight, less of a control freak, and more at ease, in general.
I’m certainly glad to hear these comments! To a large degree, these aren’t accidental and more of a deliberate attempt to change on my part.
But TBH, I don’t know about the “less of a control freak” comment. I’m still working on that one. Well, maybe there’s already been a slight improvement here that results in the “less” comment. 😂
Best wishes for a joyful and easeful week ahead.
Thanks for reading Midlife Cues! Subscribe for free to get your weekly resource for personal growth in midlife.